A PF Blogger Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the web,
Not a blogger was posting, they’d all gone to bed.
Their insomniac readers clicked through with care,
In hopes that a new post soon would be there.
The bloggers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of AdSense checks danced in their heads.
And my dogs in their sweaters, and I in my gown,
Gave it up for the night and went to lie down.
When on my iPhone there arose such a clatter,
I unlocked the screen to see what was the matter.
Away to my inbox I flew like a flash,
Hoping for an offer of guest posts for cash.
The moon on the face of my tiny phone screen,
Kept me from reading and I wanted to scream.
I went to my office, and what should appear,
But a torrent of retweets from friends I hold dear.
With my Mac Twitter app, so lively and quick,
I went to my mentions with just a few clicks.
More rapid than eagles, the retweets, they came
And then I responded, calling each by name.
“Thanks, Katie! And Carrie! And BlondeonaBudget!
Thanks Shannyn and Jana and BudgetorFudget!
You guys are so awesome, and other friends, too.
Without your support, I don’t know what I’d do!”
As I sat there, enthralled with my retweets galore,
My dogs starting barking and ran to the door.
I grabbed for my gun like a true Southern belle,
And saw DebtChronicles running like hell.
I lowered the gun and took out the clip,
Coaxed him out of the ditch where he’d busted his lip.
An assortment of Grey Goose flung on his back,
He looked like a bartender as he emptied his pack.
His eyes - how they’re bloodshot! His drunk smile - how merry!
Did he really drive here? I hope not; that’s scary!
His smile grew larger as he passed me the ale,
“Don’t worry!” he promised. “I got this on sale!”
The bag for his laptop he held tight in his teeth,
And the power cord circled his head like a wreath.
“Sorry to drop in unexpected,” he said.
“I need to finish a post and my computer is dead!”
He was weighed down with stuff, hazard to his health,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and the shine on his dome
Told me it was safe to let him into my home.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Published his post, then turned with a jerk.
And just when I thought it was time to reminisce,
He shouted, “It’s midnight! My wife will be pissed!”
He sprang to the door with unusual speed,
Said, “Bye! Gotta check on my RSS feed!”
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Bloggy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
You are amazing!!! I think this is the best poem I've read. Ever.
Drunk blogging Santa. Simply awesome.
Wow! How do you do this? You are a poet now?
Awesome Andrea!
Thanks, Tushar! Merry Christmas!
You're awesome! Merry Christmas, Andrea!
Same to you!!!
That was THE BEST thing I have ever read! Great job! Everyone should read this!
Thank you!
Merry Christmas!!!!
This is awesomeeeeeee. Merry Christmas, Andrea!
Same to you!! Thanks!!!!!
That was awesome!
Thanks, Alana! Merry Christmas!
What a cute poem! Very original
Thanks, LaTisha! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!
You too!
Loved this! Very impressed with your skills at matching the original! Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Steph! Merry Christmas to you as well!
I love this; so funny and so 'close to the bone'. Merry Christmas and I am certain that 'great deeds await you' next year.
Bloggy Christmas!
Bloggy Christmas to you as well, Maria!
Loved loved loved this! I give it two mustaches WAY up! May your Christmas be merry and your bra be filled with nog. <3 you!
Oh the cups are definitely overflowing with eggnog! Combed the mustache and everything!! Merry Christmas, my friend!
You made my Christmas, Andrea - your creativity just blows my mind.
There is definitely vodka in my future for my family gatherings this weekend, but sadly it is not Grey Goose. I save the good stuff for special occasions….like #fincon12? Have a great Christmas weekend!
No vodka in my weekend unfortunately, but don't feel bad - I don't buy the good stuff either! Merry Christmas to you and Vonnie and the kids!
Awesome poem Andrea! Merry Christmas to you and your family
You too, Mary!!!
Hilarious. Bravo. A PF Epyllion deserving of multiple reads!
Thank you! Have a bloggy Christmas!
Very clever! A Very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Andrea!
You too! Hope you have a wonderful holiday!
That's awesome and so creative. Have a wonderful holiday!
Thanks, Little House! You too!!
So clever! I loved it
Merry Christmas!
You too, Mackenzie!
hahaha oh shit my wife will be pissed! haha
That's too funny,
Thanks for Sharing
Great poem!! You are a woman of many talents!
this is unreal. well played
Thanks! Hope you had a great Christmas.