Random Thoughts for Wednesday - My Crazy Life Edition
Wed, Nov 30, 2011
I’ll just tell you guys like it is - I am stressed to the max. Last night I sat in front of the computer for three hours and couldn’t will my brain to come up with a coherent post. I’ve never had writer’s block in my life, and it really disturbs me that my personal chaos is causing it now. So instead of something that might actually be useful, today you get to read my random thoughts.
The job situation.
Yesterday I got a call about a job I applied for back in the summer. Would I like to come interview? “Oh yes, I’d love to interview!” I chirped. What. The. Hell. Why did I schedule an interview for a job I don’t even want? Because I feel like I have to. What kind of person quits a job without another one to go to, THEN turns down an interview? Apparently me, because I called this morning to cancel it.
The thing is, I don’t want this job. It’s 30 minutes from home, the pay sucks (as in less than I’ve ever made in my working life), and the hours don’t work. Sure, it would somewhat pay the bills for awhile, but I’d end up pissed off and frustrated all over again.
My life in song.
This is so nerdy, but sometimes I make important life decisions based on songs. For example, this morning I was freaking out in the car, wondering if I’m stupid not to interview for that job. Stress is making me doubt myself, and I started thinking, There’s no way I can make it doing any kind of writing. I need to realize that and move on. So I decided to let my iPod clear up the confusion for me. I plugged it into the auxiliary jack in the car and told myself, The first song to come on will tell me what I should do.
No joke: I hit Shuffle, and the first song was Jonny Lang’s “There’s Got To Be A Change.”
I know it’s dumb to take that as any kind of sign, but I really did. I’m not going to apply for jobs right now. I’ll make it through my notice period (hopefully without committing any felonies) and see what I can do. I’m not dumb enough to think my plan is too great to fail, but I at least want the opportunity to find out.
Someone please tell me I’m not the only one who lets music determine my destiny.
I wish I invented World of Warcraft.
Jayden asked me if he could start playing WoW. I know NOTHING about it, except that people get addicted to it. So I did some research and found out that there are parental controls, and I was thinking I’d let him try it out. Then I found out it costs like $15 a month just to play.
$15 a month for a stupid game? According to the interwebs, over 11 million people play WoW. So that’s $165 million. A MONTH. Not counting the money people spend on in-game upgrades and whatever else is available. Like I said, I don’t know anything about the game, but I’m sure the creators were smart enough to include all kinds of ways to spend more money.
What if the government charged everyone $15 a month for….oh, I don’t know, the privilege of NOT going to jail or something? They could invent an online game and everyone who pays gains access. We could pay off the national debt at a rate of nearly $2 billion per year, just with 11 million people paying in. I wouldn’t mind contributing to something like that if I knew the money would actually be used for good.
Jay and one of his friends have been making up characters and realms for the online game they say they want to create one day. I told him this morning to MAKE IT HAPPEN. Someday I’m going to be old, and I’d like to wrinkle in style.
My ex-husband is still an idiot.
I think I mentioned that the ex got fired from his job a few weeks ago. I was surprised at how panicky he was - not that most people wouldn’t panic in that situation, but this was excessive. Then on Sunday, he asked to talk to me when he brought Jay home. I’m thinking he wanted some free therapy regarding the job situation, so I said okay.
Um, no. Turns out he’s back in the payday loan cycle and owed $600. By the next day. Could I “loan” him the money?
I LOLed. Here I am, leaving the world of gainful employment for something that could possibly render me homeless, and he thinks I’m going to hand him $600? Knowing I would never get the money back? Puh-lease.
Okay, that’s about all I know today. What about you guys? Any random thoughts for the day?
Oh yeah, here’s what two of my dogs were doing last night while I was battling writer’s block:
They like to keep me company, even when I’m useless.
The writer's block is normal. What used to be a fun hobby is now "work." Being a little stressed about it is normal. But I also know you will get past it. As for the other job, if it didn't suit you and you have enough money to get you through the next several months then I would say you made the right decision. Hang in there!
For the WoW: he can try it out for a bit-I think you can play for free until level 20 now. I'm not sure if this is helpful advice or not. There's also some other pretty nifty games on the web for free. Again, not sure if you didn't know this or not but I figured I'd throw it out there.
I also think that if you knew the other job would just end up stressing you out more that you were wise to turn it down. And um, I just asked a magic 8 ball if I should move into this apartment we looked at-first it said yes and when I asked if it was sure, it said "ask later". I think I should have asked my music list.
I play world of warcraft. You don't have to spend any more than the monthly rate to fully enjoy the game. You can play the first 20 levels for free. Keep in mind you also have to buy each game (4 total) to get full enjoyment out of it. If I remember right the last one was about $50. It can get expensive fast. If you let him play, I would keep a close eye on him. People can be really crazy and mean in game.
I played WoW for 3 years and it is pretty addicting (especially for an OCD person). I paid 6 months in advance which worked out to $12 a month instead of $15. But yeah, I totally wish I invented that game too. It's a fantastic fantasy game. Well until they tried to get all fancy and broke it. But if Jay hasn't played it from the vanilla period, he won't know the difference. It gets expensive fast though. 4 games, plus expansion additions yearly, plus gaming gear…the list goes on.
Your ex sounds like mine. HAHA he wanted me to help him get out of debt (which I did) and then he asked my opinion about buying a brand new computer - on credit. Wow…people amaze me.
"30 minutes from home" - and that is FAR for you? I used to work 1h 15m from home. Most people I know travel that far, or almost.
No, I've traveled as much as 75 miles one way for a job. I'm used to commuting - its more the fact that it's 30 minutes away AND the workday starts at the same time as early dropoff for my son's school. Since I can't be in two places at once, the distance is a problem.
good for you for turning down a job you didn't even want! why go down that road again?
and your ex husband sounds like a real character…
For starters, you know how I feel about you thinking you need a "real job" so I'm going to leave that one alone. Second, you know that you are not the only one who lives her life in song since I definitely, 100% do the same thing. And third, your ex-husband is an idiot. I imagine that was a wonderful moment, you being able to laugh in his face. I just wish you had recorded it
I personally enjoy your life posts. Its why I read this blog over others. It's interesting to see your life and how you handle less than perfect situations. Also, the song thing? Totally not weird. Good luck girl!
Thanks for the feedback! I never dreamed people would actually care about that kind of stuff. Good to know.
What is it with the exes right now? Mine asked for money too! And another blogger I read had the same thing happen to her.
I love your random posts. Life for us single moms is completely random and haphazard and upside down and I could keep going and going. To me, it sounds like you did the right thing about the job. You've had too many disappointments on the job front and you would have gone into it already disappointed. If you can manage things for now, hold out for something better. As for the ex, I feel your pain. Mine will always be an idiot. He can't manage to pay child support, but can somehow manage to make the payments on his Harley??? Oh and whatever question is on my mind can easily be answered by the next song that comes on the radio. Keep your head high, it will get better!
Thanks for your comments! It's funny how exes can always afford things that have nothing to do with their kids. Mine cashed out part of his retirement early this year (to the tune of $18k), paid off all his debt, and still can't manage to pay his bills. And out of all that money, he gave me a whopping $600 for our son. Yet he was able to afford a computer, a whole new wardrobe, and all kinds of other stuff. Gee, thanks dude.
I just giggled and did a *head slap* when I read about your "life in song" ……..Gonna have to try it out! And the writer's block happens to us all. No doubt the stress in your life contributes to it. Like you didn't know that, right?
WOW is worse than crack…just sayin'. DH has been playing for 2 years and it sucks. Other than going to work 50+ hours a week, he is worthless at home. I feel like he is cheating on me with a game. I would not recommend letting your son play that game…jmho
I know nothing about WOW, so have no comment on that. You're a great mom, though, I'm sure you can figure out what's right for your son and your budget.
The comments on the ex made me laugh. Fortunately mine is stable financially so I won't have to worry about him looking to borrow money from me. The only thing I worry about is his blowing money on hunting trips etc while justifying cheaping out on things the kids need…
Obviously we're no longer together for a reason. :-p
I love the song thing- I have done that, taken "direction" from a song. And I have a friend who thinks in song… she's been known to burst out singing in the middle of a conversation because she's always got a song running through her head. LOL