Ah, February 14th. One of the many times of year when I’m reminded that I will be single forever (the others being weddings, bachelorette parties, baby showers, major holidays, and just about any other occasion that requires me to socialize). This day is especially annoying for me because I never once had a decent Valentine’s Day, even when I was married.
But I’m not here to complain. There are plenty of reasons to ignore Valentine’s Day - or stab it in its figurative heart via social media and/or a blog post, if you’re into that sort of thing. But there are also a number of reasons to celebrate Singles Awareness Day instead of crying into a box of chocolates while watching How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and relating all too well to Kate Hudson.
1. It’s budget-friendly. When you’re single, there’s no pressure to buy sappy cards, stuffed animals, or heart-shaped boxes of anything. You don’t have to go out to dinner unless you just feel like it, though I have to warn you - you WILL be subjected to tons of couples acting like idiots.
2. You’ll never have to give (or receive) an open heart necklace. The women of Twitter have spoken. Last night, we determined that the open heart necklace looks like either (a) boobs and a butt, (b) a dangling scrotum, (c) a swan who was injured in a car accident, or (d) all of the above.
3. No one will serenade you. Have you ever seen someone being serenaded in public? They always look SO awkward and embarrassed, probably because people who do those things in public CAN’T SING.
4. You don’t have to get your hopes up for a flower delivery. I used to love watching my coworkers on Valentine’s Day. The morning would start with, “I really hope John sends me flowers!” By mid-morning, it was, “I mean, surely he’s going to send me something.” If no delivery occurred by lunch, words were replaced by furious grunts and we were ordering the stupid flowers ourselves just to prevent workplace violence.
5. You don’t have to shave your legs. Let’s be honest. In this part of the world, it’s COLD in February. Shaving, stuffing myself into a skintight dress, and wearing heels on snowy sidewalks are not my idea of a fun time. Your leg hairs will grow out by the time you even get to the car!
6. You don’t have to pretend to get along with someone. I wish I could count the number of times I’ve heard someone say, “Well, I’m kind of done with the relationship, but I want to wait until after Valentine’s Day so I can get my gift!” Or, alternately, “I can’t stand her, but it would be mean to break her heart before Valentine’s Day!” Yes, because it won’t bother her at all on any other day.
7. No sappy movies. I can’t be the only female on the planet who despises chick flicks. Yet for some reason we’re programmed to watch them at least one day a year. Yeah, you enjoy watching some predictable story about love that endures against the odds. I’ll be watching Star Trek.
8. No need to check in on Facebook. While everyone else is all “Eating dinner with the best boy/girlfriend EVER!” or “OMG I’M ENGAGED!!!!!” while posting a thousand obnoxious pictures, you can take a break from Camp Zuckerberg for awhile. Believe me, you won’t miss anything important.
9. No post-date discussion. You won’t be expected to give a play-by-play of your Valentine’s festivities because everyone will assume you stayed home crying lonely tears. Let them think that! The less your friends or coworkers know about your personal life, the better. And they won’t make you listen to their stories because they might offend you. Darn.
10. You don’t need a significant other or a certain day to know that you rock. Too many people define themselves by their role in a relationship. After 2 years of singledom, I’ve learned that I’m WAY cooler on my own than I ever was with someone else. If it weren’t for days like Singles Awareness Day, I never would have figured out all the things that are awesome about me. Personally, I’d rather have that than a box of chocolates any day!
