How Many Plates Can You Spin?

Posted on October 17, 2011 by Andrea

source: performance-dynamics.net

When I was in college, one of my sociology instructors LOVED the analogy of plate spinning. He used it to describe everything from writing a paper to living in poverty. No matter how long and hard a circus performer trains, there is always a limit to how many plates he can spin before they all come crashing to the floor. Similarly, all of us reach a point where we simply cannot do more than we’re already doing.

My life circumstances have helped me become an expert plate spinner. Every day, I juggle single parenthood, my real job, blogging, housework, taking care of my dogs, and occasionally taking time for things I enjoy. My entire life consists of multitasking - when I’m at work, I’m responding to blog emails between clients. When I’m burning up Twitter at night, I’m also doing laundry or helping my son with homework. I’ve found I can’t even watch a TV show or movie without finding something to do at the same time.

I’m not saying I’m some kind of amazing person. Plenty of people do WAY more in a day than I ever thought about. Some are worrying about how to pay all the bills or put dinner on the table. They may work two or three jobs to make ends meet. Thankfully, those aren’t issues I have to deal with at the moment, but I never let myself forget that it could happen. Easily.

There is always someone dealing with more than you are. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks I needed to accomplish. So much that I ended up accomplishing very little. I have a lot of issues weighing on my mind that are distracting me from the things I need to do. That’s unlike me - normally the pressure of a deadline gives me energy and helps me stay on track. In this case, though, I was absolutely paralyzed by the realization that there was NO WAY to get everything done.

So what did I do? Basically, I curled up in a fetal position and stayed there. I couldn’t spin any more plates.

How to Deal When You’ve Reached Your Limit

When I was a substance abuse counselor, I kind of hated the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. To this day, I cringe when I hear the Serenity Prayer. Most of my clients didn’t respond to a program that relied on following a generic formula - they wanted something specific to THEM. A lot of them were also turned off by the references to God or a higher power. While that doesn’t bother me personally, I can understand how it might distract someone from the bigger point of working on the problem at hand.

Instead, I had my clients work through what I call the 6 Steps for Dealing with Anything. This method uses a loose form of cognitive behavioral therapy to break through all the mental barriers that keep us from doing what we need to do. My clients loved it because they thought the smaller number of steps meant they would finish treatment faster (not so much), but they also liked having the ability to personalize each step. After I finished my miniature breakdown yesterday, I used this method to salvage what was left of the day.

6 Steps for Dealing with Anything

1. Identify the issue.

2. Identify all the options.

3. Write down the consequences (positive and negative) of each option.

4. Make a decision.

5. Ask for help and/or share your plan.

6. Take action.

How it Works

Here’s what the steps looked like for me yesterday.

1. Identify the issue. I’m spinning too many plates. I have too much to do and not enough time. (Normally in this step, I would make a detailed list of exactly what things need to be done, but I already had a list.)

2. Identify all the options. I could bust ass trying to get everything done even though I know I can’t. I could do only the most important things and leave the rest for later. Or I could curl up into a fetal position again.

3. Write down the consequences (positive and negative) of each option.

(+) for trying to do it all: I could accomplish quite a bit. I would feel like I was at least trying. I may not have to disappoint anyone.

(-) for trying to do it all: I already feel like crying, and trying to tackle my entire to-do list will make it worse.

(+) for doing the most important things: I can easily identify the most important tasks on my to-do list. If I do those things, I’ll be ready for work tomorrow. I would feel less stressed if I accomplished something.

(-) for doing the most important things: It’s hard to put off the less important tasks because I feel like I’m disappointing people.

(+) for the fetal position: I can forget about my stress for awhile. It’s kind of cozy in the fetal position.

(-) for the fetal position: All the overwhelming tasks on the list will still be there when I’m done.

4. Make a decision. Looking at it this way, I chose doing the most important tasks and leaving the rest for later.

5. Ask for help and/or share your plan. I asked my son to help with some of the tasks around the house. I let my friend know I couldn’t go to dinner because I had too much to do. I emailed the bloggers I write for to let them know that my staff posts are on pause for a bit.

6. Take action. This is the part where I actually did the most important things on the list (laundry, take out trash, clean out Jay’s backpack, groceries) and felt slightly better about life. The crisis situations that are bothering me are still bothering me, but at least the household stuff is no longer one of those things.